Soup Smoothies and Water

Today was a good day. We met with the speech pathologist and Dr.Ha. AND we learned some new information that will impact my daily life. I was under the impression that i would eat via my Peg tube forever. I had resolved myself to this. i mean without a tongue you don't really have taste, so who cares about food without taste? I psyched myself up to look at the advantage that i could create custom 'juice' that was pure nutrients and never be tempted by decadent food again. But lets be honest, food is fucking awesome. But life is more awesome. TODAY we learned that i actually WILL be 'drinking' through my mouth pretty soon indeed! And let me tell you the idea of drinking water makes my mouth water. In fact, its much more advantageous for me to be drinking food because it will keep my esophagus healthy.

I had read accounts of people who 'ate' again without a tongue but they have to shove their hands in their mouth etc to move the food around. That doesn't sound like a good time. And people who said its nice to do to be social. Ummm...me with my hands full of food shoved in my face with it dripping down all over my chin doesn't exactly evoke images of 'socializing' to me!

The reality of tube feeding isn't really as easy and convenient as i thought it would be. I though i would have maybe one big fat syringe of 'food' and shoot it into my tube and be on my way. The reality is that it the 'food' goes in a drip 'IV' bag and right now it takes at least 40 minutes to 'eat' it. This occurs 4 times a day. So NOT convenient. How awkward would it be to show up to a diner party with your iv pole in tow?

NOW i can roll up with a big ole green slushie and sip it elegantly while everyone eats steak!!