When Miguel and I left Berkeley, we joked that we were kicked out because we didn't drink coffee or wine and we didn't go to 'group'. Well has a honorary resident back in the Bay Area i both drink (and love love love) coffee AND i've joined 'group'!! (sorry, no wine so i WILL have to return to Arizona...).
Tonight I took part in a (virtual) head and neck support group and i really got a lot out of it. One of the topics that came up is the 'ptsd' that can hit after treatment is over. I am very goal and project oriented and the treatment stepstones, the exercises, learning to drink, daily walks, selecting speakers and communication devices and focus on healing, that keeps me focused on the immediate. In fact, i have intentionally tried to focus on one thing at a time lest i get overwhelmed.
I have 7 radiation treatments left (raise the roof!). Then we will have several weeks of follow up appointments. Then we will be packing up and moving home. Lot's to keep busy with. I will be faced with the reality that my Dad is not longer here in a more tangible way. I will have to explain many times to my mom (alzheimers) what happened to me. In August i will start integrating back into work...slowly...and the girls will go back to their lives. I will forever be looking over my shoulder for cancer. This meeting made me realize that i will face lots of emotions moving forward and then will probably sneak up and smack me in the back of the head when i least expect it.
I go forward knowing that i have the most amazing family in the world and i can lean on them. But i also need to think about what other strategies i will put in place to keep my head on straight and appreciate every single day of LIFE.
Love the "Super"Glossygirl pose. I see the arrow has landed behind you. Your posts have been so honest and thought provoking. "Groups" can be so helpful with hurdles. Here's to finishing strong! Tucson misses you!
You have motivatEd me Glossy! i need to find group too haha! Love you and am grateful for your honesty and vulnerability on here. PTSD from medical issues is intense and under-discusse. You are a badass. Love you!
I love the glossy girl outfit too! You look amazing, fit and beautiful! I think your daily focus and determination has been exemplary and has contributed to your fast recovery from a really big surgery. I am glad you see you are NOT from Berkley, and you are needed back here in little old Tucson. Come home please!
LOVE
I love the glossy girl outfit!
We are here for you along the way. Getting back to a life in Tucson will be different and require navigating. Knowing you, we will get through this still one step at a time. I love you!
It is good to have a known coping mechanism. Yours works well. I know there will be hard times ahead, and you will struggle with it, but your approach and determination will carry you through. When you come home, I would like to be part of your support "group". Love to you, Sonya. Your friend, Karen.